Something that I’ve realised recently talking to people on dating sites and such is that so many people are so bitter about people they used to date and I just can’t understand it at all. Maybe I’m just too loving or too forgiving but as far as I’m concerned if you were able to fall so deeply in love with someone I can’t quite grasp how that love is so easily turned into hate.
For me, love is something that will blossom out of a close friendship (or blossom into one) and I really don’t take friendship lightly. Caring way too much about people I consider friends is what I do best, although I’m not always the best at showing it. In many ways I guess I’m odd for becoming attached to people so easily, but I’m certain that’s a part of me I would never change. Sure, there will be times when this person will make you want to throw your phone at a wall or scream into your pillow and that’s absolutely fine for a short period of time. The truth of the matter is that having so much hatred for someone isn’t really productive at all. It won’t solve any problems you have and this is even worse if you have to see this person on a daily basis. I mean, is it not easier to at least just be civil?
Something that I’ve realised when talking to people about their ex is that I will judge them a lot based on the way they speak of them, this goes for their friends too really. It probably sounds strange but I start to lose trust in people the second they talk badly of people they once claimed to be in love with once and I suppose that’s mainly because it could easily be me they’re speaking of in the future, and I really don’t want to be the evil ex in anyone’s stories. While I understand that not all relationships can end on a happy note I don’t really understand why people feel the need to almost brag about how toxic the relationship was. I almost get second-hand embarrassment from people who talk like that…
Having said all of this, if your partner has cheated on you then you are well within your rights to plot their murder (I’m kidding [maybe]).
I guess what I’m trying to say is that I know everything is fragile when it comes to the feelings of those you love (yes, that’s a Naomily reference), but just because it shatters doesn’t mean it has to cause pain.
(Sorry, I couldn’t resist adding a picture of my princess Em to illustrate my point.. well, kind of, who cares she’s cute?!)
Shane Koyzcan once said “love and hate are beasts and the one that grows is the one you feed” and I honestly believe with all of my heart that’s true. It always pays to be kind and loving and you will only ever get what you give away.
~ Jem x