As far as weeks can go, this one has been absolute shit. There is literally no other words for it. Just shit. A breakup, stress at work, stress with my degree, general sadness and worrying about my dad’s cancer scan results for next week. If anything, shit is an understatement really. I guess I’m just counting my blessings knowing I have the most wonderful friends who support my decisions in life and are ready to pull me through absolutely everything and get me laughing, whether I want to or not.
Anyway, by the time you’re reading this (if I can remember how to schedule posts on here), I will be saying goodbye to one of my closest friends at work for what feels like forever. The next 10 months of my life are fully set to plummet downhill without this lady in my everyday life. She has helped me through every imaginable version of hell in my life the past year and I will never be able to thank her enough for that but I simply can’t describe to you all in any kind of detail what it feels like to have that kind of stability and love just disappear.
Don’t get me wrong, I am absolutely over the freaking moon for Megs. She is about to go on maternity leave to have the most handsome little boy who I hope will always know me as his cool fake auntie. She is going to have the best time raising this special little guy but she will be leaving our office with a massive gap that no one could ever fill.
Obviously, heartbreak hurts a heck of a lot, but what I’m feeling right now is just incomparable. Knowing I won’t get to see this lady when I come in every morning, knowing she won’t be there to hug me when I’m sad, or to laugh at mean customers with me… It has left me with such an empty heart. Where I work the levels of stress are high and there is so much to do and most days my only real solace is the moment in each day where Megs will crack a joke and I will burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter.
We’ve shared so many lovely memories together and of course, we threw her the best baby shower ever.
Megs is someone I tell everything because she just gets me. She has taken the time to get to know me, flaws and all, and loves me regardless. Of course, I will still have my amazing boss Lorraine and my new senior Clare who are both just as amazing. But I guess when one person leaves it will always be difficult, no matter what, especially when that person has influenced so heavily the person I am today.
These are the things I will miss from the moment you are reading this. This lady is my hero and only further proves my internalised theory that friends will always make your heart feel more empty than any breakup ever will.
P.S. this is my finished letter to Megs and my last maternity gift:
(Painting by Laura Girling: http://www.lauragirlingillustration.com/)